This week's post comes from a question from one of our BOMs. She is the mother of three girls, and I think the oldest might be four by now, hmm, maybe still three. I can only imagine how busy she is day after day after day. Her question is "How do busy moms do it?" (See the comment on the post "Sisters." ) How do you fit in your spiritual daily needs? We all know that they are necessary in order to stay on track and be able to handle our mothering duties with joy and love, but sometimes it does seem impossible to fit it all in.
Now, I know there are some of you out there that this isn't a challenge. You seem to just do it and handle it better than the rest of us. Really, I know who you are. I've seen you in action. So the question is how? Help us out. What is the secret to making it happen?
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Thanks Nats...I feel special that you would take my question and make a post...I am looking forward to lots of great advice of how do get my life in order...Please help!
Unfortunately, I'm the type of mom that NEEDS advice in this area, instead of being able to give it. I've got 3 under 4 (I like to call them "underagers") and I struggle every day to feel "on top" of all the duties on my list. Many nights I go to bed feeling I have failed in some way - either the house is a mess, the kids weren't nurtured enough, I hardly said two words to my husband, or my calling got totally ignored. Let's not even talk about personal time! It doesn't exist!
Here's what gets me through: Every day and every night I remind myself - "To Everything There is a Season". There will be a time in my life when my house will be spotless, but not now. There will be a time when I have a busy social life, but not now.
This is my Mothering Season. Somedays it may seem unending, but EVERY experienced mom I've ever met tells me it just flies by and I can't bear the thought of wasting these precious years stressing about the dusty shelves.
As I remind myself of that phrase "To Everything There is a Season" I find the stress of trying to do it all seems to fade away. My priorities become clear to me and the guilt of neglecting all the "other stuff" subsides. I more fully enjoy the time I spend with my little ones and I am naturally drawn to nurturing my spirit in the "in between" times. I read my scriptures while I nurse, sing hymns and primary songs while I make/feed everyone lunch, etc.
Cherish your Mothering Season - it is precious and fleeting.
Beautifully said Lauren! I agree with you 100%. I am not perfect by any means, but one thing that has helped me within the last month is developing a routine. My husband started a new job, everything seemed caotic around the house, always a mess, no bedtime schedule. So I decided to finally take the leap into developing a schedule for the day. The times are never exact of when things happen everyday, and there are sometimes circumstances that make the schedule not work, but the routine is there and things have been so much smoother around our house. Especially BEDTIME!! I've been able to get to bed earlier now and have time with my husband before bed every night. It's made for a happier mom in the home!!
Most importantly I just don't allow myself to feel guilty about what doesn't get done and try to stay positive. The laundry may not be folded, but at least it's clean! My boys beds didn't get made this morning, but at least they ate a good breakfast!
I love this blog by the way! I've never commented until now, but I've been stopping by every once in a while.
I don't think anyone can actually "do it all". It may look like someone is, but I have never met anyone who really feels 100% confident about being a wife, mother, friend, member of the church, maid, cook- you know I could go on and on. It's so easy to compare ourselves to other people...I do it all the time and undoubtedly come up short. I think we all need to give ourselves a break! :) Allow yourself to make mistakes, learn from them and then move on without wallowing in guilt (something I'm a pro at). I am such a happier mom when i read my scriptures, even it it's for 5 minutes, and have sincere prayer. I struggle with both of them desperately...but can see a difference when I do them. A shout out to all you mama's. We can only do the best we can do!
I try to remember Elder Ballards talk- our children are so small for such a short time, I try so hard to revel in their messy mischievousness and forget about the cleaning once in a while. Loves!
Jenni, you took the words right out of my mouth. I don't think anyone can pull off perfection. They may just be really good at pretending. I think it's important that the rest of us realize that and stop beating ourselves up. I teach singing time in primary and I can't tell you how often I've seen the demonstration of the sand, rocks, and ping pong balls all fitting into one jar. If you put the sand in first there's no way the rest will fit. However, if you start with the bigger ping pong balls (the important stuff like scripture reading etc..) then work your way down to the little stuff it all fits. OK- maybe in my life a good amount of the sand ends up overflowing onto the floor but it is only sand afterall. The big stuff is taken care of. I can always vacuum later.
Teryn - I have never seen that demo. but I totally love it! Take care of the big things that matter most and the rest will fit in the cracks. That puts everything in perspective for me. Thanks!
Thanks for all the wonderful advice. I am glad to know that I am not the only one out there that is not perfect. I'm afraid that when we really have the time for all the little stuff, we are going to realize that our kids are no longer small. We need to enjoy life now & everything will fall into place. By the way, thanks for the wonderful demo Teryn, sounds like I will be doing a lot of vacuuming:)
I'm so loving all of these comments. Thanks so much BOMs.
I too am feeling a lot better about myself. Thank you all for so many awesome comments. I have noticed in my life that those that look like they have it all together are usually letting things that I feel are important in my life slide....so I guess that is what I need to do...pick the BIG ROCKS that are important to me and do them and do them now, and let the other SAND fill in when and where there is time....If there ever is time? Any Way...Thank you all, I feel blessed to know that I am not the only one who feels the over whelming demands of being a wife and mother...it makes life easier!!! XOXO
The devil is such a lier! Consistently trying to make us feel that we must be perfect. A state of being that can only be obtained, when we meet our maker, face to face. And I don't know about you guys but I'm to busy to die! So repeat after me ladies...Satan GET BEHIND ME!!! Striving for perfection and reaching it are completely different. Daily doing the best that you can, to the best of your ability(which varies from day to day} is all that God ask of us. Lets choose Life not Death, drop the guilt and lighten the your load...mediate on the Word and reload.
Fully Loaded,
Mommy Dearest
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